The Medical Report. Diagnosis: Epiphany

Exhibit A, the dentist's chair: My back teeth, says the dentist, look 70 years old. (I am 44.) I take good care of them, and brush and floss and brush some more, but apparently, I also grind them to a pulp in my sleep. Asks the dentist: Are you under stress?

Exhibit B, the gastrointestinal specialist's office: I am here because I have way too many stomach problems for a 44-year-old woman, and my regular Dr. thinks it's time for an endoscopy. But first I must stop here and spend a little extra money on a bonus office visit. The nurse practitioner thinks I might have a slow-bleeding ulcer, which would tidily explain both my anemia and my after-breakfast nausea. She sweetly asks: Are you, by any chance, under stress?

Exhibit C, lunch with a friend: C has suffered migraines for years. I mention to her that I've been getting days-long headaches lately, too. No shit, she says: Stress will do that.

Ding. Helll-ooo!

Whadya know: I'm thinking I might be stressed. Not just irritated, but stressed to the point of actual physical harm.

Certainly I realize that I can't control what people do to me, or how people treat me; I can control only how I react.

But I need a little positive-reaction reminder. I think I'll look into yoga. Last night, I did some deep breathing before falling asleep (this used to me my favorite time of the day, but now I lie in bed -- likely clenching my teeth -- and listen for the telltale mistress honk), and it helped for a while. But then I woke up in a panic when I heard a door squeak. Plus, one little extra intake of oxygen ain't a-gonna fix my teeth, my guts and my noggin. Would drugs? Would divorce?

Could be.

(PS: Unrelated adendum: I tried to see Barack Obama at a campaign appearance this week, but I couldn't get in because it was absolutely, totally packed. So just let me say: Even if this man does not win, he has already changed the heart and soul and face of American politics. There were thousands and thousands of people there -- not just to get on TV like the literal rejects on "American Idol" -- but to participate. They are eager to believe, determined to make a difference and longing to belong. So thanks for that, hunky presidential dude. And to those who think we can't say he's hunky and admire his inspirational brand of politics: Yes, we can. )